favorite line #2: "thank you so much for calling to you" (bwahahhaah!)
favorite line #3: "i'm breaking up on you,too" ( uuuuy! boyfriend-girlfriend mo?)
favorite line #4: well first, can i have your first and last name first?...ok for that one...you first have to save an itinerary first... ( this guy's favorite word must be "first')
favorite line #5: "the passenger has to die first before you will get a refund" (hihihi ayus!)
favorite line #6: "for this one you have to sign up first before you have to be signed up,ok?"(obviously kana ang meaning intawon!)
favorite line #7: "i can see that this is an unreserved reservation"
favorite line #8: "the sign up process is very free " you mean there are sign-up processes that are slightly free or half-free?"
favorite line #9: "how age is your son?"(hahahahaha! hala sigi paningkamut ug maayo!)
favorite line #10: "do you have a pen and a ballpen?" ( how about a pencil? do i need to have it,too? )
favorite line #11: "please bring a government photo issued id" (laluma sa english uy!)
favorite line #12: "could you repeat that again,please?" (guilty ako)
favorite line #13:" because actually you need to actually sign up for an account first"( murag artista ba..actually..)
favorite line #14: "that is eastern pacific time" (buot buot kag time zone doh!)
favorite line #15: "can i have your sine in and location pless..."(asa na ang american accent training?)
favorite line #16: "i see here that this is just a reserved reservation" ( uhuh! that's what a reservation is supposed to be!)
favorite line #17: (for an opening line..) "thank you so much for that information... "(yeah right! the caller hasn't even said anything yet!)
favorite line #18: ( a call during Christmas day,an agent had this for a closing remark! ) "Thank you for calling and happy halloween!" (YIKES! i don't think Santa is gonna give you presents for this:( )
favorite line #19: "have a...have a...have a... have a happy holiday!"
favorite line #20: "have a...have a...have a...have a happy day!" (trying to find for a better adjective for a day,huh?)
favorite line #22: "would you like to reserve this for january nine or january tane?" (uhuh! american accent training!)
favorite line #23: "well,it defends..." (i repeat! american accent training!)
favorite line #24: (new dead air verbiage!)" if i don't hear from you within 5 minutes, i'm afraid i will have to release this call..." (you're willing to wait that long?)
favorite line #25: "i'm sorry i can't seem to access your account. are you sure you're already a passenger of expedia.com?" (the passenger is calling to purchase a flight meaning he is not yet a passenger!!!! for heaven's sake!)
favorite line #26:" i'm sorry but my supervisor is having a conversation right now..."( conversation jud? )
favorite line #27: "ok you will be leaving 9am in the morning" ( wait lang! karon pa ko! is there a 9pm in the morning? )
favorite line #28: "would you want to add 1 children for this itinerary?" ( 1 children?! )
favorite line #29:" thank you for calling, Mr. coupon" (pwede diay ta makabunyag og passenger?)
favorite line #30: "how many passengers will be staying in the room?" ( uy! flying hotel room? )
favorite line #31: "i'll just tell him nalang!" ( karon pa ko! international language na diay ang tagalog!)
favorite line #32: "ok for that one let me verify with my computer...according to my computer..."( i would love to get that computer...what brand?)
favorite line #33: "if i don't see you within 5 seconds, i'm afraid...".( my goodness! we are in the philippines. how on earth can the caller be here for you to see him in 5 seconds?!)
favorite line #34: (passenger shouting on the other line) "sige..sige...sige..."
favorite line #35: "would you like to add and attractions and services for this one? "( asa dapita sa purchase path ang "and attractions and services'? wa lagi ko kita ani?)
favorite line #36: "what i can offer you is a one times courtesy void "( naay two times? )
favorite line #37: "let me just walk you to the set-up "( mura man walk you to the door...kimpang ang caller? asa na dapita ang set-up?)
favorite line #38: "i'm sorry but there is something wrong with the airplane..."( passenger: what? my flight will still be in two months!)
favorite line #39:" i need to verify this one so let me just hold you for a while,ok?" (uy! very sweet na agent!)
favorite line #40: "i'm sorry but because of the queue that we are having, i'm afraid my supervisor is taking a call right now.. "(passenger asks how many calls are waiting?) "we are actually having 59 calls on queue..." (sus! giduka na gali ang uban kay walay calls!)
Here are real incidents from our call center subsidiary which does outbound telemarketing to US households. the comments in parenthesis were added in by a project manager whose job it is to audit some of the calls at random. he started circulating these anecdotes internally. pinoy humor in real life.
(CSR - Customer Service Representative)
1. CSR: Do you have any child so we could send out
these gifts to you?
CLIENT: I'm sorry but i don't have any child.
CSR: Oh i understand, what about any grandchild?
(wala ngang anak di ba,
asa ka pang may apo)
2. CSR: . . . and for our records, may i know your
child's bday?
CLIENT: I don't know her bday. . .
CSR: Oh come on, it's your responsibility to know
your child's bday.
(tarayan ba ang customer?)
3. CLIENT: (mad) how many times do i have to tell
you i didn't purchase
any card!
CSR: Ma'am, i'm talking about a 'car', a toy car,
not a card.
CLIENT: but i said i didn't purchase any card!
CSR: No ma'am, not a card, what i mean is a car, an
automotive. (baka ibig
mong sabihin automobile)
4. a. CLIENT: What is that space bag bulk storage
system? (By the way, a
space bag is a big bag, not sure if it's made of
plastic, which size
adjusts depending on the amount of air you vacuum
out)
CSR: (with limited product knowledge) Well sir, it's
some kind of a space
bag, it's like a storage system where you put your
things. (salamat sa
explanation)
b. CLIENT: What is this space bag?
CSR: (basta may masabi lang) ah sir, it's the thing
worn by astronauts.
(kakaiba tong taong to)
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HE IS NOW ONE AMONG THE FEW
SELECTED TRAINORS.
c. CSR: We are giving you a free gift. You can
either have the space bug
bulk storage system or . . .
CLIENT: What the hell is a space bug? (a single
letter spelled the big
difference)
5 CLIENT: What is this squeeze wrench?
CSR: It's a wrench that you squeeze for better grip.
(huh?)
6 CLIENT: I won't allow you telemarketers to fool
me. Nothing in this
world is for free. Now tell me the catch!
CSR : (medyo napikon at umisip ng pambawi) Ah sir,
have you ever listened
to the Beatles?
CLIENT: Well what about it?
CSR: What does their song say about the best things
in life?
CLIENT: It's free.... but you know what ...
CSR: (bangs the phone before the client could start
with his stuff. (YIKES)
7. CSR: One last thing sir, may i have your city
of birth?
CLIENT: What?
CSR: Your city of birth?
CLIENT: What? i can't quite hear you.
CSR: (irita na) I said your city of birth, the place
of your born!
(nagalit pa)
8. In the initial calling days, we were encouraged
to go verbatim as
little as possible. Stick to the script! Seems
like a good practice
right? (except for some special incidents).
CSR: So how is your car wash gadget?
CLIENT: It was a piece of junk! (irate)
CSR: Oh that's nice to hear from you, sir! (at least
nag-stick sa script)
9. CSR: As a way of expressing our gratitude, we
are sending your choice
of free gift. You could either have a Bushnell
binoculars.....
CLIENT: What is a binocular?
CSR: It's the thing you use to make far objects
appear closer.
CLIENT: I don't get it.
CSR: You know, it's the thing you use when you look
out the window....
CLIENT: I'm sorry but i really don't know it.
CSR: (a bright idea came about) ah! sir, have you
ever seen a telescope?
CLIENT: Yup!
CSR: All you do now is get one telescope on your
right hand, and another
one on the left, put them together, look at the
eyepieces and there you
have binoculars.
CLIENT: Oh, you mean binoculars! (may point tong
CSR na to noh?)
10. CSR: Yes, may i talk to mr. _ _ _ _ _ ?
CLIENT: He's not around, is there anything i can do
for you?
CSR: It's ok, i just called to inform him that
because he purchased an
item from us, he is entitled to receive a free gift
item. Anyway, i'll
just call him back.
CLIENT: Really? would you like me to give you his
mobile phone no. so you
can get in touch with him.
CSR: Ok! (CSR noticed that the cell no. lacks the
first four digits, he
forgot that he was talking to US people, so he
asked) Is it Globe or Smart?
CLIENT: pardon?
CSR: (realizing he committed a mistake) oh, i said
i'll just try to
contact him......
11. A newly hired CSR just made his first sale . .
CSR: Yes! (sabay lagok sa coffee ng katabi nya)(tama
ba namang ma-carried away)
12. Note: It is a common practice in SVI-connect
that a coach sits beside
a first timer)
Another newly hired CSR (good looking) just made his
first sale (or should
I say her first sale). Anyway, here is her, I mean
his story :
CSR: (extremely tense while pitching. From time to
time, he looked at his
coach to verify if he is doing the right things.
Coach approved. Finally,
after a few minutes of persuading the client to
accept the offer, he was
able to close the deal. He became so delighted that
he faced his coach
(who happens to be an attractive lady), embraced
her, and said 'thank you mommy!' (BUMIGAY ANG BRUHA!)
13. CSR : We are giving away a free miniature car
for free just because
you purchased a product from us before. Well anyway
sir, do you happen to
be a car collection? (mas maganda yatang pakinggan
kung car collector)
14. CSR : ... and as a safeguard to show that i
really did talk to you,
may i have your city of birth, the place where you
were born?
CLIENT: Inglewood
CSR: Where sir? In the woods? You were born in the
woods? (Sino yan, si Tarzan?)
Subject: real-life recruitment bloopers
"Haller???!!! ??? (knocks on the table) THE SALARY!" (Answer to Why do you want to work in a call center?)
Applicant: Agency ba to? Interviewer: No sir, head hunting firm. Applicant (turning to friend): Egg-hunting daw pare! (Happy Easter!)
---- Napagtatawanan at napaguusapan lang---
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