explanation of Marketing

Several people have asked for an explanation of Marketing.
Perhaps the following analogies will help clear up the meanings of terms.
You go to a party and you see an attractive female across the room.
You walk up to her and say "Hi, I'm great in bed."
This is an example of direct marketing.
You go to a party and you see an attractive female across the room. You give your mate 10 quid to approach the attractive female and comment "Hi, my friend over there (pointing to you) is great in bed."
This is an example of advertising.
You go to a party and you see an attractive female across the room. You give two of your female friends ten quid each to stand within earshot of her and talk about how great you are in bed.
This is an example of PR.
You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get
his telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm
fantastic in bed."
That's Telemarketing.
You go to a party and you see an attractive female across the room.
She immediately walks over and says, "Hi, I hear you're great in bed."
This is an example of branding.
You go to a party and you see an attractive female across the room. You pay a complete stranger 500 quid to go and ask her what she likes in bed, then come back and tell you.
This is an example of qualitative research
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink. You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."
That's Public Relations.
You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into going home with your friend.
That's a Sales Rep.
Your friend can't satisfy him so she calls you.
That's Tech Support.
You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!"
That's Spam.